Wanted to start a business, Autism got in the way!

I wanted to start a business, in a free country you should be to. Without all the red tape which only the smart of the smartest are able to go through. I was trying to start one I plan gave up 100%. It doesn’t mean I haven’t commited to read and build connections. When A person like (me) do anything with some sort of disability is very hard. Autism is a very annoying problem which I have. What I can Talk and say on the computer I can’t do in person. One thing all people with autism have Anger problems. Depression and anxiety are common. Both which I have. Sure I can build online connections it is not the same as having real connections. Heck I can become someone and network with many people who I could never even remotely have connections with in real life. People say what do you do. Don’t work, unemployed, on disability. Do you know what it is like to say that. and you wonder why I can’t have long term friends. Most people all they want is your money and connections. Sure I have made some great connections online. I have made a few offline as well. In the end I want to have a conversation just like everyone else. So , I type most of the time.


The Real me. Some background on me.

This Is the true me. I’m Christian and will to die just because of it. I’m Part jewish This were the double blessing comes from. I’m pro-life Abortion is wrong Nothing more to say. I’m a hard core gamer But Suck at most games. I don’t like blood and gory games Now zombie games are just stupid.  I’m a social media Networker. I have moved to the internet to try to solves problem I have in real life, they never did get fixed.  I can help many people with allt eh skills I have but can’t because I don’t know how to ask people without blowing up. I DO HAVE A ANGER PROBLEM, SO i RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING LITERALLY IN REAL LIFE. Most of the time I get made because I think people don’t listen to me or interpret my actions wrong. In most cases, they do. But other times they don’t. I have been wanting to do many thingS but to scared to ask to do it.  At times I think some classes are stupid. I don’t need them. I have trouble taking notes. I stopped going to class and school. And also quite going to church over this and a few other things as well. I feel like most don’t understand me. I’m smarter than most. My heart is well I love to help people but most of the time,But not through my words, it is through my hands. I could care less about money. I talk about Civil War all the time because I want these names I have to just go away. I have thought of selling my soul over the years. That option has always been on the table. I’m broken like everyone else. But with all I have gone through and everything I have done. I know God has always been there Protecting me and others who are strong but there times have not come yet. I will fully awaken some day. I don’t know when or if. But I do know one thing I have a give to bring light to those who are hurting and out case as myself. Just by them being close to me, some people have said ” I can’t point my finger on it but you are not like other people I have talked to”  I look at people hearts. Before I would have to be close To them now I can tell even through the computer. That is the power of God for you. Most people have their gifts my gift is from the heart. Not even doing things for people its a spiritual ones. That is my true gift. People will tell me things but they don’t know why they have told me they just feel like they can trust me. That is one of the strongest gifts of God. The gift of the heart of God. I look at people hearts into what they have done in the past. But what there heart is. Most people will never how to only those who have been through alot of trials. Satin is scared of all those who have this gift. We Can heal, and cast out spirits of all types. That is a gift of the heart. when you know what is pledging them. We are the most persecuted in the world too. We have many problems most are homeless, have psychological problems, physical ailments, Can’t speak, God has created these to show you the power of god. I relate to these people. When you bully people who have disabilities I get angry I was bullied a lot when I was younger. Sometimes I think help is bullying at times.  Also I have the heart to help all people, especially those who have Autism the thing that plagues me the most of anything, even at church.

Does a person need a Education to get a job?

Does a person need a education to to get a job? For the the most part yes. But some of use would rather build networks of people and eventually get a job from that. I’m not looking for a big time job right away. I will find one through networking a low end job because that is what i’m qualified for. A very basic job. I don’t want to be making millions. Some people love making money. Others would rather be helping people and not making any money at all. I don’t make any money literally. If it wasn’t for the autism I would be better off than I am right now. If you don’t have that great of communication skills your screwed in life. That is me. But because of the Autism college was to much for me. Yes I would love to live on my own and be able to afford anything I want, but I can’t. The computer has been a more of a blessing than a curse. Heck because of it, I have found I can actually write better than I thought I could. I can network with many people around the world. I can talk to people not in person. Yeah I love talk to people in person. But my love is to talk to people online.

Opening part of my heart

I’m going to open up my heart part open right now. Do you know what it is like to have a communication problems? Most people don’t. So, they don’t know what it really is going on in the other persons brain. I do! I have a Small problem called Autism Weather or not it real or not. I have had it all my life It is a blessing a  curse and the same time. My communication are not perfect but I do communicate when I need to. Most people who have it you would never really know they just act strange or odd. But with me all people are odd. Not really able to understand people facial expressions. Not able to make many friends or keep them long is why I decided to put all my effort to the computer. To not get exercise or even have a job not my choosing. Some of it is but most isn’t. I ask of you who know someone who has autism. Most have no clue what face your making. And they can’t say the words that they want to say. Most people who have autism have a anger problem. This comes from there communication problems. For me I think I have found my true voice online. I don’t have to deal with peoples emotions. If I could I would stay on the computer all the time. But, I know its not healthy to use it that long. But in the end I Know only one understands what I go through.  Its his perfect love for all those who want it. I’m talking about Jesus Christ as lord and savior he is above all my problems on this world. His death on the cross and his Resurrection from the death. For he took all our sins away. All our problems. Everything! Put it at the bottom of the cross. For it all has been forgiven. I can’t prove that he is real. But, I just know its faith. Faith it can’t be proven. you just have to believe in nothing and you get nothing. That is what almost everybody in the world believes in is absolute nothing. Jesus is absolute love It can’t be described. Even with everything I have gone though I know he is there for everything. For every situation. Whether it was the bulling in high school or talking walk down the street. No one can ever take my faith God has a hold on me. I know him He is the only one I have ever could understand. His love is so much that at times I can’t even stand it. But He says I Am Who I Am! The beginning and the end.