People are strange till you get to know them

You look at a person and say to your self he or she is strange but are they any different than you? We have have our problems. We all are sinners.  We all hate even though we pretend to love all people but in reality we hate all.  We are all sinful wicked people.  We need a savior to take away our sins of this world. We will still sin even the purest of us we will still sin. I sin everyday . I kill people in video games. This is a form of murder  which is hate.  I play these games to pass the time. but in reality I want to kill people so does all the other tens of millions of gamer’s around the world. Yes some people say games are bad they change the brain. I have to agree with them 100% with out a daught .  I play games to change my games to try to be like everyone else i’m not. Nor will I ever be I am free thinker.  I do what I want. But in the end I know my lord and savior Jesus christ is who control a lot of what I say and do.  Heck I am like everyone else I have brain problems. Try living in my head for a day or any one else who has similar problems. You can’t autism has one of the highest suicide rates of any disability. I have though of it my self many times. When you feel lonely even with close family and friends.  I may be lonely but I have the holy spirit to comfort me. I have God as my heavenly father who knows and understands me more than my earthly father ever could.  That is why I never have taken my life Because I know absolute love that only comes from the father of the heaven and of the son.  With everything I have done in the past I could have been in trouble many times but I haven’t.  I know I have some sort of protection that very few have. I one of those who may have some disabilities but i’m one of those who are the strongest not physically but with my spirit.  Why do people like me?  They feel something they them selves don’t have and want. Yes I have gone through much pain and suffering and still do but. I don’t lose hope.  How would you like to have problems but yet your gifts out weight your problem by a factor of over one thousand times. That is me. I may be weak but i’m strong. My spirit is stronger than most pastors around the world. ( Not All ) Here is part will freak many of you out.  How would you like to know what spirits are causing problems with people. We are spirit yes we are very much physical beings.  We don’t exist in reality.  Why do I say that. God breathed life in the earth. we are really air living beings that never die. We will die but our spirits will live forever. You can either burn for all eternity of live in peace for the same thing.  I chose life. I hope you do the same. You can be a born again christian  and still go too hell. You can heal people and still go too hell.  With me, you know weather or not you will go or not. What is is your heart. Is it wicked or do you want to heal people. Even from when I was younger I wanted to heal and help them. Yes, my intentions have not always been the best but in the end if comes out to be good. We all want to help. What you say is helping is really killing. But I have to say it is but not of what you say it is. Love comes from the heart. If you heart is wicked then you will be wicked. It takes people who pray too change your heart. I say I hate things people do but I don’t hate them. I have what they do but not themselves. For the way the country is going I keep saying a civil war is coming. I thought it is a real one yes it is and isn’t at the same time. It is a civil war for our hearts and our minds. That is what civil wars have been fought over all though history. If they take your heart and mind they win but you have a few people who will always stay and be firm of what they believe.   The few will change history for good or for evil.  Yes I could change the world for very evil but I don’t. I don’t see it that way. We live for the passion to raise people from the dead in Jesus name. I was born to be a preacher but these problems have held me down. God says open your mought and I will speak.  The spirit will speak either throw writing or by talking. But it will still be spoken. The word is a living never dies. its moves with the wind you never know were it comes or goes. Look at the sky you see the clouds how did they get there. Wind pushes them.


Opening part of my heart

I’m going to open up my heart part open right now. Do you know what it is like to have a communication problems? Most people don’t. So, they don’t know what it really is going on in the other persons brain. I do! I have a Small problem called Autism Weather or not it real or not. I have had it all my life It is a blessing a  curse and the same time. My communication are not perfect but I do communicate when I need to. Most people who have it you would never really know they just act strange or odd. But with me all people are odd. Not really able to understand people facial expressions. Not able to make many friends or keep them long is why I decided to put all my effort to the computer. To not get exercise or even have a job not my choosing. Some of it is but most isn’t. I ask of you who know someone who has autism. Most have no clue what face your making. And they can’t say the words that they want to say. Most people who have autism have a anger problem. This comes from there communication problems. For me I think I have found my true voice online. I don’t have to deal with peoples emotions. If I could I would stay on the computer all the time. But, I know its not healthy to use it that long. But in the end I Know only one understands what I go through.  Its his perfect love for all those who want it. I’m talking about Jesus Christ as lord and savior he is above all my problems on this world. His death on the cross and his Resurrection from the death. For he took all our sins away. All our problems. Everything! Put it at the bottom of the cross. For it all has been forgiven. I can’t prove that he is real. But, I just know its faith. Faith it can’t be proven. you just have to believe in nothing and you get nothing. That is what almost everybody in the world believes in is absolute nothing. Jesus is absolute love It can’t be described. Even with everything I have gone though I know he is there for everything. For every situation. Whether it was the bulling in high school or talking walk down the street. No one can ever take my faith God has a hold on me. I know him He is the only one I have ever could understand. His love is so much that at times I can’t even stand it. But He says I Am Who I Am! The beginning and the end.