I think the biggest fear is not really fear it self is actually success. As crazy and as odd and some of the things I do online. Heck I can tap into things than few people can. Heck, I love to help people. Most of the time I do not want money mainly because I feel as i am not worth money in value. Just a slave. I do not push my self as much as i could because I know I can succeed. I am not hyper-networked to just say oh you are doing nothing. When you have lots of time you can accomplish things that most people it would take forever. and yes it has taken me forever to do what I did. Now I just need to figure out what path do I take that is not the most dangerous. I do still want to start a business. I have met some great people who can help with the marketing once I have the money to pay them. These are not your local people I know but some bigger players around the world. Once I have a website and more so a business plan before the website. I can pay some of these people to really get more traffic to the site. it is more expensive than doing normal advertising but more direct. Your connections can either make or break you. Or if I can find A partner to help grow the business it would be cool as well.
Love why? If you do not love what you are doing you hate it. Your productivity will go down as well. For me personally. I love to help people find things that they may over look. It could be a new network I came across or a person they should contact. I wish I could create a business model from that. I’ve been trying to figure out a business that uses all my skills sets. On the surface you see oh that person did not go to college (Flunked out )or they have mental disorders. Heck I like to be blunt and not sugar coat things no matter what it is. Love is what what hate is not. If you Hate you destroy and not lift up. Hate does grow some networks. Love what You do even if you are not paid for it. Now the biggest problem I have is turning that in to a business model that works. Besides the debilitating Mental health issues I deal with day to day.
We breath because God tells us to breath. We breath from a electrical response. We breath because it is the spirit who breathes and talks for us.
One things God keep say which from fear I do not is… Speech. Try to be a leader and not know it try to be a revolutionary and not believe that God could make you go from second to a leader. Who can lead people not for money not for power But, to fight even to die to bring people from from around the world. This doesn’t mean just as a leader to just prayers for things to happen but one who sees thing many things before they happen. Fear and sin make the leader screw up constantly but those are the least tend to to the most of the when the time comes.
As much as I post and as crazy and strange things are. I can post really out landish things if I wanted too. I keep things tame for the most part not to upset too many people. But, if I am going into a new web area all bets are off at least for a few weeks to months. until I can test what people will bear. I have gained enough info I will start pulling back enough to merge it in to the rest of my networks for a new growth. Many things I do online are mainly for growth and to expand my networks. Almost everything I do online is to build a bigger network in all areas. I found one that is controversial in what I thought was going to be and I can integrate it far better than the other one. You must constantly develop new marketing techniques to expand. If I do not support it I do not post it. Simple. I support far more things than just biblical moral areas.
As crazy as it may sound I am not as nuts as you may think I am. i just like to open doors bigger and deeper than most care to try to. Not in the everyday ways as everyone else. I have to open them very different. I can open them and persecute those who do not agree with me. Or I can say I have this problem for a long time. and slowly open it to more people. I am not perfect. Many people I know yes they do have there heads screwed on right. I do as well. I just do not have the same thought process as many people. I try to build connections with the gifts I have. If this means having a gun pointed at me from the Christian or very conservative community So be. I am very much saved I am just reaching out to people who need the help. More than the average person. I understand those who have big mental problems. Most people I am unable to help even if they come to me in person. I can tell more about people than you think I do. all people who are this sensitive to the spirit can as well. You just have to let God lead your ways. No, I am not doing any thing different in public now. I have always talked to the LGBTIAQ+ areas online. But, I have never Used my name publicaly saying things. In order to do what I am doing I had to become strong enough to hold back the back lash from the Christian community. The area you find tends to me more closed minded than most of the even far left people I talk to on a regular basis. I do research everything people say online as they are talking. I do look into everyone who are the closed to me. Those who use fake names I do not believe one bit. Even if I say I do.
God knows our hearts. He fixes things as the winds blow. Prayer helps a lot. I could never have a story about how I was saved deep down I knew How can I save/ bring people to the lord when sin in keeping me in bondage. This male attractions is nothing new. It won’t be a fast healing either. God heals in his time. Not ours. All Through school people would call me names. most of the name were very right on. Gay and Fag were not wrong about me. I just could hide it very well from most people. Yep, I would be looking at the other guys in the room more than the girls. Never really cared for them. I just went with the flow of things. IT was not worth another total mental break down to try to hide who I am. Gay…sorta. So, I decided on 9/12/2015 to come out on Facebook. The anxiety, stress, depression went way down. I am far happier now than I was. Try to hide sin for too long it will cause all sorts of things. Day by day I am accepting. What sin causes. But, God has a plan for me not to destroy me but to bless me and through me to others. I will have ups and way downs. If you see me join lots of Gay communities/ sites/ networks Yep that is me. Hope it won’t last too long. Generally if it is the true me I will use my real name.