Closer I get to God more things happen. both good and bad. Do I bless or do I curse. It is difficult for me to hate even those who I know who Are lost. I want to try to help even if it destroys my reputation. God Knows my heart. What you see is not always what my heart and God is working on. To learn you must expose your self to wickedness. Even if it means making some not to smart moves. How can you help unless you know what goes throw the head of the helpless the people who think all have turned the backs on. I see a hurt and hurting people around the world looks for a way to love but yet they have no clue or do not want to know that love. Sex never helps it can in fact make the problem far worse. I said to God years ago I would never have sex unless I get married. This means I do not date to not have the remote temptation. Sure, i am tempted but I know God will keep you safe if it in his will.
You look at a person and say to your self he or she is strange but are they any different than you? We have have our problems. We all are sinners. We all hate even though we pretend to love all people but in reality we hate all. We are all sinful wicked people. We need a savior to take away our sins of this world. We will still sin even the purest of us we will still sin. I sin everyday . I kill people in video games. This is a form of murder which is hate. I play these games to pass the time. but in reality I want to kill people so does all the other tens of millions of gamer’s around the world. Yes some people say games are bad they change the brain. I have to agree with them 100% with out a daught . I play games to change my games to try to be like everyone else i’m not. Nor will I ever be I am free thinker. I do what I want. But in the end I know my lord and savior Jesus christ is who control a lot of what I say and do. Heck I am like everyone else I have brain problems. Try living in my head for a day or any one else who has similar problems. You can’t autism has one of the highest suicide rates of any disability. I have though of it my self many times. When you feel lonely even with close family and friends. I may be lonely but I have the holy spirit to comfort me. I have God as my heavenly father who knows and understands me more than my earthly father ever could. That is why I never have taken my life Because I know absolute love that only comes from the father of the heaven and of the son. With everything I have done in the past I could have been in trouble many times but I haven’t. I know I have some sort of protection that very few have. I one of those who may have some disabilities but i’m one of those who are the strongest not physically but with my spirit. Why do people like me? They feel something they them selves don’t have and want. Yes I have gone through much pain and suffering and still do but. I don’t lose hope. How would you like to have problems but yet your gifts out weight your problem by a factor of over one thousand times. That is me. I may be weak but i’m strong. My spirit is stronger than most pastors around the world. ( Not All ) Here is part will freak many of you out. How would you like to know what spirits are causing problems with people. We are spirit yes we are very much physical beings. We don’t exist in reality. Why do I say that. God breathed life in the earth. we are really air living beings that never die. We will die but our spirits will live forever. You can either burn for all eternity of live in peace for the same thing. I chose life. I hope you do the same. You can be a born again christian and still go too hell. You can heal people and still go too hell. With me, you know weather or not you will go or not. What is is your heart. Is it wicked or do you want to heal people. Even from when I was younger I wanted to heal and help them. Yes, my intentions have not always been the best but in the end if comes out to be good. We all want to help. What you say is helping is really killing. But I have to say it is but not of what you say it is. Love comes from the heart. If you heart is wicked then you will be wicked. It takes people who pray too change your heart. I say I hate things people do but I don’t hate them. I have what they do but not themselves. For the way the country is going I keep saying a civil war is coming. I thought it is a real one yes it is and isn’t at the same time. It is a civil war for our hearts and our minds. That is what civil wars have been fought over all though history. If they take your heart and mind they win but you have a few people who will always stay and be firm of what they believe. The few will change history for good or for evil. Yes I could change the world for very evil but I don’t. I don’t see it that way. We live for the passion to raise people from the dead in Jesus name. I was born to be a preacher but these problems have held me down. God says open your mought and I will speak. The spirit will speak either throw writing or by talking. But it will still be spoken. The word is a living never dies. its moves with the wind you never know were it comes or goes. Look at the sky you see the clouds how did they get there. Wind pushes them.
This Is the true me. I’m Christian and will to die just because of it. I’m Part jewish This were the double blessing comes from. I’m pro-life Abortion is wrong Nothing more to say. I’m a hard core gamer But Suck at most games. I don’t like blood and gory games Now zombie games are just stupid. I’m a social media Networker. I have moved to the internet to try to solves problem I have in real life, they never did get fixed. I can help many people with allt eh skills I have but can’t because I don’t know how to ask people without blowing up. I DO HAVE A ANGER PROBLEM, SO i RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING LITERALLY IN REAL LIFE. Most of the time I get made because I think people don’t listen to me or interpret my actions wrong. In most cases, they do. But other times they don’t. I have been wanting to do many thingS but to scared to ask to do it. At times I think some classes are stupid. I don’t need them. I have trouble taking notes. I stopped going to class and school. And also quite going to church over this and a few other things as well. I feel like most don’t understand me. I’m smarter than most. My heart is well I love to help people but most of the time,But not through my words, it is through my hands. I could care less about money. I talk about Civil War all the time because I want these names I have to just go away. I have thought of selling my soul over the years. That option has always been on the table. I’m broken like everyone else. But with all I have gone through and everything I have done. I know God has always been there Protecting me and others who are strong but there times have not come yet. I will fully awaken some day. I don’t know when or if. But I do know one thing I have a give to bring light to those who are hurting and out case as myself. Just by them being close to me, some people have said ” I can’t point my finger on it but you are not like other people I have talked to” I look at people hearts. Before I would have to be close To them now I can tell even through the computer. That is the power of God for you. Most people have their gifts my gift is from the heart. Not even doing things for people its a spiritual ones. That is my true gift. People will tell me things but they don’t know why they have told me they just feel like they can trust me. That is one of the strongest gifts of God. The gift of the heart of God. I look at people hearts into what they have done in the past. But what there heart is. Most people will never how to only those who have been through alot of trials. Satin is scared of all those who have this gift. We Can heal, and cast out spirits of all types. That is a gift of the heart. when you know what is pledging them. We are the most persecuted in the world too. We have many problems most are homeless, have psychological problems, physical ailments, Can’t speak, God has created these to show you the power of god. I relate to these people. When you bully people who have disabilities I get angry I was bullied a lot when I was younger. Sometimes I think help is bullying at times. Also I have the heart to help all people, especially those who have Autism the thing that plagues me the most of anything, even at church.
- Adult Bullies (recoveringanorexic.wordpress.com)